Depersonalisation/Derealisation

So for most of my life now I’ve had what is called “depersonalisation” and “derealisation”. It’s a pretty hard thing to deal with, as are most things in life. But the one thing that really stood out in this was the loneliness I felt. So I’ve set up this blog as a kind of comfort to those who are also experiencing these feelings. You are not alone. You are not insane. You are just
experiencing an extreme anxiety symptom. And you can survive this.

 

So… what are my symptoms?

 

- Dizziness

- Light-Headedness

- Feeling like I’m in a dream

- Memory loss

- Lights are too bright for my eyes

- Trouble breathing

- Voice sounding disconnected

- Numb hands/face

- Feelings of suffocation

- Feeling as if I’m observing life rather than
  participating

- Feeling isolated from the world around me

- Feeling disconnected/detached from the world
  around me

- Thoughts of going insane (apparently that means
  I’m not insane)

- Emotional numbness/emptiness

- Lump in my throat/feelings of choking

- Depression

- Tiredness

- Exhaustion

- Frustration

 

Whoa, there are quite a lot of things going on there. Yeah it sucks, but we all have things in our life that we have to live with that we rather wouldn’t. It’s very important that you don’t forget what it feels like to be ‘normal’ (if there is such a thing). I know when the dp/dr is bad, you feel like you’ll never touch back down to earth again. That reality is forever and ever out of reach. But NO. That is certainly not the case.

 

 

So I’m 18 years old and my dp/dr has been severely up and down. I’ve just come out of a particularly bad ‘episode’ which lasted for almost a year. I became agoraphobic for 6 months, so I couldn’t leave my house. I had to quit college and stop seeing my friends. But it’s okay, I’ve started another college now and I love it a lot. It worked out for me in some way I guess. So yes, there is definitely hope.

 

I’m guessing you don’t want to hear about how it gets better, but what to do when it’s super bad right? I totally know how desperate you feel. How you would do anything to feel better again. How it’s so scary because there is no physical ailment and you don’t want to take prescription drugs because they seem so trivial in the whole scheme of things; they only
ignore the problem, instead of allowing you to face it and tackle it head on. If you have succumbed to these drugs and they’re working for you, then please tell me! I’m so on the fence about prescription drugs, the bad far outweighs the good it seems. But don’t take my word for it; I’m not a qualified doctor – far from it!

 

I shall be updating this blog as much as possible, and shall try to include some helpful tips for coping. I know it’s hard, but for me, the best thing I can do is to make myself go outside, on my own or to see friends. The more of this I do, the more normalised I begin to feel again. It’s a long process, but it works, if not just a little (which is better than nothing,
right)? And please, feel free to share your own tips, and comment on my blog, or send me an e-mail or something. It would be amazing to connect with other people (perhaps ‘connect’ is not the best word I can use) who are going through
this.